Tuba Doner – Even though I’m not very accustomed to writing such pieces, I had to start somewhere! Hello, dear reader 🙂 I’m Tuba! Probably the first comedian at Lemonade Turkish Comedy Club! Of course, I can’t say for sure if someone else was approached before me! However, one thing I do know is that the role this team played in building my confidence as a stand-up comedian has been immense!
When dear Yunus called me and said, “We’re starting a comedy club and would like you to be a part of it,” I struggled to express my joy because it was such a new field for me. Not only did I not know how successful I would be, but I hadn’t even performed stand-up in Turkish yet! Yes, you read that right, dear reader—I began my stand-up career in English and continue to perform in it. In fact, let me start from the beginning, if you’re ready, here we go:
My curiosity about getting on stage and sharing my thoughts has been with me since childhood! From pretending with a hairbrush to participating in every school theater audition, and even joining an amateur theater group at 29 years old to play a lead role in a season’s performance to spite my father who didn’t let me study theater at university—I was always involved in this passion! But then plans changed, I moved to London, and the real-life struggle began! I can’t say I completely disconnected from the arts; I continued to watch stand-up and go to the theater, but I probably didn’t have the energy to pursue being part of it actively.
The year was 2020, during the pandemic when we were all stuck at home, worrying about whether we’d be able to return to Turkey, see our families again, or if Alp Er Tunga had died. Amidst such anxieties, my closest friend Didem put immense pressure on me to attend open mics that I had long wanted to but never had the courage to go to! I said, “Girl, I can’t do it. Yes, I really want to, but I can’t manage it. What if I get on stage and they hate me? I don’t even know where to start!” There’s nothing worse in this world than not believing in yourself! But having even one person believe in you is equally wonderful! Unknowingly or not, Didem had actually planted the seeds of this idea in my mind, voicing what I had been unable to say out loud for years.
Another year passed by, and I still hadn’t attended any open mics, and then another year. However, in March 2023, a Facebook ad became the first step toward everything. The ad asked, “Would you like to perform 5 minutes of stand-up for a charity?” I immediately showed it to Didem, who said, even if it’s spam, I should give it a try. By the time she said that, I had already completed my application 🙂 Thanks to this organization, I completed an 8-week free course and finally performed a 5-minute stand-up show. My first performance, with my legs shaking from excitement, was in a huge hall with 300 people, in one of London’s most famous comedy clubs. I went on stage, confident in my memorization, but my heart was racing. Just before going on, I looked at my coach, who said, “Come on girl, you got this.” Then I thought, she was right; I knew what to talk about, I was sure it would be funny, and with that enthusiasm, I ran onto the stage! Hearing so much applause, feeling the adrenaline of being on stage, and seeing all my dear friends in the front row supporting me was an indescribable happiness.
Since that day, I don’t know how many times I’ve been on stage—I stopped counting after 40 🙂 But I still find Turkish performances to be the most intimidating. For some reason, whether it’s because of where we come from or our culture, we can be a bit harsh on the people we watch on stage. Even though I’m nearly 40, the saying “What will others think” still echoes in my ears, so breaking some taboos and forgetting certain things I know will take time. But that moment between getting on stage and just before leaving is what I want to stand still while I’m on stage. If I could, I’d talk forever 🙂
I think I also enjoy the creative struggle period, with a touch of melancholy, don’t you think? 🙂 In my stand-up career, which I’ve been pursuing for almost 1.5 years, I often feel like I’m failing in each new material search and writing process, thinking “it’s not working.” But then, when I get on stage, all my worries disappear. After receiving praise from people who come up to me after the show, I’m overjoyed, and my belief in myself is renewed!
In summary, dear reader, I am incredibly happy to be involved in this field, to be able to call myself a stand-up comedian, and to be a part of the Lemonade Turkish Comedy Club.